


Is You

by 27summer



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 07:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: Val's pov toMy Future





	Is You

Valentina hummed a soft lullaby as Isabel drifted off to sleep. There was nothing she loved more than story time with Isabel. She was so glad that Eva and Mateo asked her to baby-sit. The only thing that would make it better would be if Juliana was home.

Kissing Isabel on the forehead, Valentina heard a door open. She placed a blanket over Isabel and smiled. “Hey, you’re home.” Valentina led Juliana out of the room.

“I am. Sorry I missed story time.” Juliana tucked Valentina’s hair behind her ear.

“It’s all right. You’ve heard it before.” Valentina smirked. She always loved the look on Juliana’s face when she told this story.

“The two princesses whose dads transmigrated?” Juliana shook her head. “You tell that one every time.”

“She likes it. And so do I.” Valentina grinned. It was almost like reliving her love story with Juliana. How could she not tell it?”

“Wait ‘till she finds out it’s true,” Juliana said, a teasing smile on her face.

“Oh, that’ll be awesome. I can’t wait to tell your own kids. That will be even better.” Valentina couldn’t resist kissing Juliana’s cheek.

“What?”

“Our own kids. Can you imagine?” Valentina asked as they settled on the couch.

“Un- No. Not really.” Juliana grew pale.

“You never thought about us having kids?” Valentina frowned. Kids weren’t something she thought a lot about but it had come to her mind a few times.

“No, I don’t want kids.”

Valentina could feel herself panicking but she tried to stay calm. “I don’t mean now. We’re still really young and-”

“No.” Juliana placed a finger on Valentina’s lips. “I don’t want kids, ever.”

“I- How- You never told me that.” Valentina shook her head in disbelief. It was like all her plans for the future were gone.

“We- We never talked about kids.”

“You’re- you’re so good with Isabel. You would be a wonderful mom,” Valentina said as she grew increasingly flustered.

“I can’t,” Juliana said. “Just let me explain.”

Valentina backed away. She needed to think and that couldn’t happen with Juliana right next to her. But she did want to hear her out. “Okay.”

“You- you know how I grew up,” Juliana said haltingly. “Always wondering what would make my dad snap. My mom doing whatever she could to make him happy and it never being enough. I won’t do that do a kid.”

“It wouldn’t be like that with us,” Valentina insisted, shaking her head.

“I always said that I wouldn’t have kids. That I wouldn’t repeat what I grew up with,” Juliana said.

“You think I’m like Chino? Or you’re like your mom?” Valentina asked. How was she supposed to respond to this?

“No but- I just can’t. I never imagined myself having kids.” Juliana took one of Valentina’s hands.

“You’re just scared.” Valentina squeezed Juliana’s hand, hoping she could feel how much Valentina believed in her.

“No, Val-”

“Listen.” Valentina leaned in, looking directly into Juliana’s eyes. She wanted her to feel how serious she was. “Juliana, you had a tough childhood. It affected how you wanted your life to be. But it wouldn’t be like that with us. It wouldn’t.”

“I-” Juliana shook her head. “I don’t want kids, Val.”

“What - what does that mean for us?” Valentina asked, trying to force back her tears.

“What do you mean?” Juliana looked so sad but Valentina didn’t know what to say.

“I always thought I’d have kids. What do we do when we don’t want the same things?”

“I don’t know,” Juliana said helplessly.

They sat silently next to each other for what seemed like forever. Valentina grew more agitated the longer they stayed quiet. What could they do? She hated making Juliana feel bad but how could she fix this? The one thing she knew for sure was that she couldn’t be without Juliana.

After a while, Valentina stood up. “I’ve got to go.”

“Please, don’t go.” Juliana followed Valentina as she put on her jacket.

“I just- I need some space.” Valentina knew she had to leave before she lost her temper. She couldn’t think with Juliana this close to her.

“Don’t- I- You can’t leave,” Juliana said.

“I need to think.” Valentina leaned down, pressing her cheek to Juliana’s. She couldn’t resist being close to her, even when she felt out of sorts. “I’ll be back in a little bit. I promise.”

“Val, I love you.”

“I love you, too. And I promise I won’t be long.” Valentina pulled her close. She didn’t want to worry Juliana, she just wanted to figure out how she felt.

“Okay.” Valentina left quickly before she stayed wrapped around Juliana. She needed to fall apart a little bit and she didn’t want Juliana to have to comfort her. She would get herself together and everything would work out fine.

\----------------

Valentina made her way back home, anxious to talk to Juliana. She felt a lot better now that she’d had some time to think. She was settled now, she knew what she wanted and she thought she knew how to make things right with Juliana. She wanted a life with her, nothing else mattered. The two of them would work everything else out. Together.

Opening the door, Valentina felt a weight leave her when she saw Juliana. “Hey, Juls.”

“Val!” Juliana threw her arms around Valentina, burying her face into her neck.

“It’s- it’s okay. I told you I’d be back.” Valentina held on tight, pressing kisses into Juliana’s hair. Juliana was shaking and Valentina felt terrible. She never wanted to scare her.

“I was worried,” Juliana said.

“Come here.” Valentina walked them over to the couch, tucking Juliana under her arm. Now that she’d had a moment to calm down, she needed Juliana as close as possible. “I’m ready to talk now.

“Me, too,” Juliana said, breathing deeply. “I love you.”

“I know that. I never doubted that.” Valentina smiled, hoping to infuse Juliana with the confidence she now felt.

“I- I thought about. Not- not now but maybe someday we could have a kid.” Juliana said the words but she shifted restlessly next to Valentina.

“No, Juls. I don’t want you to say that just to make me happy,” Valentina said. She wasn’t going to make Juliana do something she didn’t really want.

“That’s not what I’m doing.” Juliana bit her lip.

“I think it is,” Valentina said, looking closely at her.

“I- I never really considered having kids. With my family, I just decided it was something I didn’t want.” Juliana cupped Valentina’s face in her hands. “But I never counted on you. On someone who gave me love like I never dreamed of.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to have a kid,” Valentina said fondly. She loved that Juliana wanted to give her what she wanted but it didn’t feel right.

“Val-”

“I did something thinking of my own,” Valentina said. “And I realized something.”

“What’s that?” Juliana asked.

“Having kids when I grew up was just something that was expected. It wasn’t something that I actually put any thought into.” Valentina shrugged, hoping Juliana could sense how serious she was. “But tonight, I had to really think about it.”

“And?”

“And I’d love a kid if we had it. With your eyes and smile and stubborn nature, how could I not?” Valentina smiled at the thought of a child just like Juliana. “But if that’s not something you want, it would be all right. I would be all right.”

Juliana rolled her eyes. “You’re just saying that because I said I didn’t want kids.”

“No, I’m not. I swear,” Valentina said solemnly. “But I think you’re trying to force yourself into having kids because you think it’s what I want.”

“Val, I want you to have everything you want.” Juliana stared at her intently.

“I just want you. More than anything else, I just want you.” Valentina leaned in, kissing her lightly.

“Val, it’s not that easy. What if you wake up one day and realize you resent me?” Juliana pulled back slightly.

“I could never resent you,” Valentina said, meaning it with all of her heart. There was nothing Juliana could ever do that would make her resent her. “I can’t promise that I won’t change my mind. But right now, I need you. I want you. I love you. And I don’t want a kid more than I want you.”

“So you want to just go on like everything is fine and hope you don’t change your mind?” Juliana demanded, looking at her skeptically.

“No.” Valentina pulled Juliana into her lap, needing her closer. “Juls, I’m telling you that you’re the most important thing in the world to me. And I don’t want you to force yourself into having kids when you aren’t positive it’s what you want.”

“I don’t know, Val.” Juliana squeezed Valentina and she knew she was finally starting to trust what she was saying.

“Tell me what you really think.” Valentina rubbed Juliana’s back, hoping she felt comfortable enough to be honest. “You said before you didn’t want kids. But when I came back, you said maybe you could.”

“I-” Juliana sighed. “I want to give you a house full of kids. But I just don’t know. I always thought I wouldn’t have kids. The thought terrifies me.”

“We don’t have to,” Valentina said, keeping her grip on Juliana. She wouldn’t do anything Juliana didn’t absolutely want. “But you’re not Chino. It- it wouldn’t be like that with us.”

Juliana lifted her head, looking Valentina right in the eyes. “We’re different from them.”

“We are.” Valentina nodded with certainty.

“Maybe- maybe we can just enjoy being Aunts to Isabel for a few more years and then talk about it again,” Juliana said hopefully.

“That sounds like a plan.” Valentina kissed her soundly.

“Mmm.” Juliana kissed her back and Valentina felt like her heart would burst. Nothing could be better than this. Better than having Juliana in her arms. Everything else would work itself out as long as Juliana was with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
